| |  | Lee Bennett Hopkins
Poetry Judge |
 | Mike Lyons
Illustration Judge |
 | Rick Spears
Illustration Judge |
 | Kelly Milner Halls
Non-Fiction Judge |
 | Marilyn Singer
Picture Book Judge |
 | David Lubar
Mid-Grade Judge |
 | Chris Crutcher
YA Judge |
| | |
AND THE W.I.N.NERS ARE...
Our W.I.N. Grand Prize Winner: Jay Asher! Jay placed in two different categories: 1ST place in YA (BAKER'S DOZEN: THE AUDIOBIOGRAPHY OF ANNA BAKER) and 3rd place in Picturebooks (BROTHER AND SISTER GOOSE NURSERY CRIMES), with two different judges. This alone speaks to his talent. Look for a profile of Jay in our May 1 Smart Writers Journal. Jay wins the $250 prize, plus the 2004 Children's Writer's and Illustrator's Market, and will have both of his entries reviewed by one of our editors. Congratulations, Jay!
POETRY
(with comments from category judge Lee Bennett Hopkins)
FIRST: A WIGGLE OF WORDS: ABC's TAKE SHAPE by Heidi Roemer
"WIGGLE OF WORDS has a chance to be published if the rest of the book follows suit. Concrete poetry is in and this is a good idea. The author should submit same to a house like Boyds Mills Press who specializes in poetry and who hasn't done a book of concrete poetry as yet."
SECOND: "First Star," "Girls Only," and "Lake Michigan," by Anne Bowen
THIRD: "The Dust Devil," "Aunt Mary's Flowers," and "The Iron Pump," by Louann Brown
FOURTH: A BOOK ABOUT ME BY ROSANNA McKEE, by Laura Goering
ILLUSTRATION
(see all four images and complete commentary below)
FIRST: THE TOENAIL FAIRY by Steve Gray
From Mike Lyons: How wonderfully odd. The eery portrayal is appropriate to the title. Nice central composition lets the illustration do its stuff. At first I thought it depended too much on the title but decided that’s just the way it is with Toenail Fairies. If this book is a kids book, it may be a little scary...sharp edged things look like knives. I REALLY like this illustration.
SECOND: THE DREAMING TREE by Judith Bicking
THIRD: JIBBY AND LOUISE by Ruth McNally Barshaw
FOURTH: THE EMPOROR'S NEW CLOTHES by Jonna Baruffi
NON-FICTION
(with comments from category judge Kelly Milner Halls)
FIRST: SHORT DOZEN: ELEVEN AMAZING STORIES OF NOT-SO-TALL PEOPLE by Pat B. Trollinger
"Though I would fine tune the text and change the title to A SHORT DOZEN: ELEVEN STORIES OF NOT-SO-TALL INDIVIDUALS, I believe everything about this fun proposal shouts publishing potential. A quick market analysis suggests there are no factoid books for young readers about successful short folk -- and yet the supply of prominent shorties goes on and on. So a well written book on the subject might do very well without significant competition. And while most kids will outgrow their height challenges, they all have a waist-high view of the world for a significant chunk of their lives. That universal factor, along with a percentage of people who will remain petite (like me, I never got past 5'2") says this project might is a real winner.
The author will need to revise to a slightly quicker pace -- carve back the text to focus on the meat of each subject more. And he or she might also want to add related sidebars to broaden the visual components of the book. But I think this one is a winner and could be whipped into publishable shape under the guidance of a talented editor. That's why it's my first place winner."
SECOND: YOU GET PAID TO DO THAT? A KID'S GUIDE TO FUN AND UNUSUAL JOBS by Valarie Giogas
"This clever concept book has some competition out there, which is why it was my second place selection. It will be tough to write a BETTER book about quirky jobs. But the author's selection of odd jobs -- sand sculptor, Stanley Cup keeper, teddy bear dresser -- sets it apart from the existing options and make me hungry to know more.
I confess, I was influenced, as a dinosaur fan, by her selection of Dan LoRusso, a sculptor we paleo insiders know to be of exceptional skill. That fact gave the author added credibility in my mind and extra merit. If she had the sense to pick Dan, I was able to believe the other candidates for coverage were just as impressive. I also liked her question and answer format. Kids will wade through text by a writer, and most of my nonfiction books take that stance. But Q&A puts us in the room with the expert. Personally, I prefer that approach as a reader.
Again, like the first place selection, I'd like to see this writer add sidebars, like where can you see the best dinosaur models? Or where do old dinosaur models go when they "die?" That kind of fun sub-content really is energizing in a book like this and makes for fun layout and book design potential. But I think this one is a winner, too. First and second place were a REALLY close call. Both projects were very close to being publishable."
THIRD: BUBBLE HOMES AND FISH FARTS by Fiona Bayrock
"Anyone who knows me could have predicted I'd love this proposal. It captures two things that universally interest young readers -- bubbles and farts. And since I never really grew up, both subjects made me giggle too.
I really enjoyed the content in this proposal as well. It felt carefully researched and well thought out. But it missed first and second place because it was a little slight. It felt like HALF a proposal, in a sense, at least the sample text. For example, it talks about how young dolphins love to play with bubbles. And I loved that idea. But I wanted more about it. I wanted to know what scientists thought of the dolphin bubble play. I wanted to know if anyone believed there was a developmental reason for this play. I wanted a sidebar on how baby humans also play with bubbles. I wanted more development in the samples.
As it stands, this is a truly original young reader article. But if it was pulled out to its full potential, I am sure this book could find a publishing home. I hope the entrant will do the extra work, because it's a book that would fill a fun and interesting young reader niche."
FOURTH: CHEW, CHEW, "POP!" by Jaqueline Bonnici La Hay
"Again, I loved this concept. And again, it may be to slight to merit a whole book. It feels more like an article because each of the facts are introduced well, but only briefly. I might consider expanding the proposal (and the title) to embrace a slightly broader topic. I might call it, CHEW, CHEW, POP! A LOOK AT THINGS WE PUT IN OUR MOUTHS. I'd lead with the gum, but I'd take it deeper into a quirky realm and explore all kinds of things kids orally examine -- gum, retainers, tongue depressors, even a section on the weirdest things kids have ever accidentally swallowed. I think this book has enormous potential if the writer will dream a little bigger. So it's my fourth place pick."
PICTUREBOOKS
(with comments from category judge, Marilyn Singer)
FIRST: HARLEY HARRISON, TATTLE-TALE by Anne Bowen
This is probably part of a beginning reader, rather than a picture book, but it is very well written. The characters are fresh and funny. The writing is snappy. I loved it. It should definitely be shown to editors.
SECOND: COWBOY CAMP by Tammi Sauer
This one is a picture book, in my opinion. It made me laugh out loud. It needs some minor revisions, such as a stronger opening sentence, but it too is an original. I recommend showing this one to editors, as well.
THIRD: BROTHER AND SISTER GOOSE NURSERY CRIMES by Jay Asher
A clever idea carried all the way through. It needs a bit of trimming and the dog poo has got to go. (Imagine the illustration? No, don’t!) I like the idea of a Nursery Crimes series very much. What other cases does the author have in mind?
FOURTH (TIE): DRIBBLES, BLOBS, AND ZIGZAGS by Patricia Van West and WAVE PLAY by Claire Noland
MID-GRADE/CHAPTER BOOKS
(with comments from category judge, David Lubar)
FIRST: HALFWAY BETWEEN HOPE AND HURRICANE by Cynthia Lord
The opening grabbed me, and the writer was smart enough to lay out the page so the most powerful line fell at the bottom. (Never underestimate the value of appearance or first impressions.) The voice of the narrator felt authentic. This is a place where many writers fall short. The prose has to be rich enough to hold the reader without violating the voice of the character. Here, the writer has done an excellent job, with lines such as "My first glimpse of cousin Aaron Spinney was hard won." A simple line, but one that begins to define the narrator quite well.
The writer handles dialogue nicely, avoiding excessive speech tags. The descriptions are perfect for the mood of the story, usually giving just one or two key details, and the writer has involved all the senses ("I sucked my knuckle, waiting. I was glad for the faint, familiar taste of sea salt still lingering on my skin from my morning's fishing.") Note how this helps give more information about the main character without dragging down the pace. There are several places where there is a bit too much backstory, but a revision pass could easily clear that up. On a minor note, I'd suggest changing the father's name, since "Jacob" will make readers think of Jacob Have I loved, which has a similar setting. I suspect the book could use a stronger title, but that's not a major issue. All in all, this entry did the most things right and the least things wrong.
SECOND: GROWING UP IN THE LODZ GHETTO by Jennifer Roy
I'm on the fence about stories told in free verse. Ironically, this work about prejudice was powerful enough to overcome that bias and earn second place. On a purely commercial note, the book has an excellent chance of selling because it tells the story of one of only twelve children to survive when more than a quarter of a million people were herded into a ghetto. On an artistic note, the writer handles language wonderfully. The images in the sample feel perfect for the age of the narrator. ("My fingers are icy sticks / I'm afraid they will snap / Like the twigs that are / Crackling into pieces under the wagon wheels.") The reader isn't bludgeoned by details, but told much in subtle and indirect ways. The work has both heart and soul.
THIRD: TWO DAYS by Nina Nelson
This also had an excellent opening, and an intriguing concept. It has a lot of potential. There are some good lines of dialogue, and the first flashback scene is powerful. It was a tough choice where to place it, and I wish I could have ranked it higher.
FOURTH: THE CASTING by Joyce Johnson
This entry offered some of the most beautiful and well-crafted passages in the contest. The writer knows her craft. This manuscript also has a lot of potential. And again, I wish I could have ranked it higher.
Parting thoughts.
The distance between first and fourth was very small. Each is publishable. Each could be strengthened by revision. Honestly, on a different day I might have ranked the stories in a different order. None had flaws that would keep it out of the running. The key elements I looked for were a strong opening, authentic voice, realistic dialogue, intriguing plot potential that would interest the target reader, and apt use of description. All four of these writers rose to the top.
YOUNG ADULT
(with comments from category judge Chris Crutcher)
FIRST: BAKER'S DOZEN: THE AUDIOBIOGRAPHY OF ANNA BAKER by Jay Asher
This is a wonderful idea. It sets us up in the beginning with mystery, yet promises to be a book with great insights into relationships/friendships. And hopefully, into the interview of the narrator of the notes. Wonderful idea, as I said. Crisp narrative. I think you'll have to be careful of not using coincidences to tell your story. Robert Cormier said he only gives himself one per novel. This story will be prone to that.
SECOND: ON CAMERA by Donna J. Stoltzfus
The writing on this one, the voice and general tone was very promising. It was tough to choose between this and the winner, because they both had strengths worth developing. But the twist of Baker's Dozen pushed it over the top, based on a short sample, rather than the whole book.
THIRD: GRIDIRON GIRLS by Christine Kohler
It's good to see someone writing about girls in athletics. Editors are eager to find good novels with athletic girls, but are frequently disappointed by the lack of real sports knowledge behind the storytelling. This one might help meet that need someday.
FOURTH: THE ILLUMINATED BOX by Carol Reinsma
The writing was quite good in this manuscript, very literary. It probably didn't place higher because I don't know historical fiction or fantasy well. But the writer is clearly talented. | 
