Write It Now! Competitions
For Teachers and Librarians
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2007 W.I.N.NERS!
Critiques update:
January 31, 2008:
Update from Kelly on the hard copy entries: "Roxy, can you post notice on the SmartWriters website asking ALL people who have yet to get their crits to send me the latest version as email attachments and I'll do them the minute I get them? Now is the time for me to make things up to all these great people." I'll let Kelly fill you in on the particulars of her situation as she sees fit since this is a very public site and it's not my place to share her private story.
As for the emailed entries, I've got 22 18 to go and hope to have them completed soon.
Thank you all for your patience. This has been a hella year. I appreciate the love and support more than I can tell you.
Roxyanne
Please visit our 2007 W.I.N.NERS page for a full list of winning entries, complete with judges' commentary.
2008 W.I.N.? People have been asking about the next W.I.N. Competition, too. I won't begin a new one until I get all the loose ends tied up around here, and then I have to do all the administrative stuff to set it up, contacting judges, editors, arranging prizes, writing copy for it and all that...the soonest I could begin taking entries will be March, if I do a contest this year. I'll try to keep you posted here.
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SmartWriters Swag...
A very special thank you to Kelly Milner Halls, who appreciates her own hard-won hardware, and insisted on getting our W.I.N.NERS something they can proudly display in their offices. Well done, Kelly, and congratulations, W.I.N.NERS!
What else do the W.I.N.NERS receive?
 Grand Prize: $250, 2008 Children's Writers and Illustrator's Market edited by Alice Pope, Picture Writing by Anastasia Suen, and an engraved plaque, plus the W.I.N.NING entry will be sent to at least one publisher for review (we've been known to send them to several).
First Prizes for Each Category: $100, 2008 CWIM, Picture Writing, and an engraved plaque.
Prize packages will be mailed out in mid-August, as soon as the engraved plaques and books all arrive safely and can be distributed to their recipients.
Special thanks to Alice Pope and F&W Publishing for sponsoring the books! These will be out in stores in August, but you can pre-order your copy now at Amazon.com , BN.com , or your favorite independent bookseller, and if you're headed to LA for the annual SCBWI National Conference, you'll find a few copies there, too, and Alice will be there, as well.
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 Grand Prize W.I.N.NER: Elizabeth Dulemba for her Illustration entry, "Lula's Brew." It was a tough call, but when it came down to it, it was the commentary from the judge that helped us decide. In Scott Piehl's words, "Out of all of these, Elizabeth is the most polished and has the best chance at success. I could hire Elizabeth just looking at this piece. She's got a nice, polished, complete look to this page, and I know without a doubt she could carry a book start to finish."
Here is the summary of W.I.N.NERS - scroll down for judges' commentary on each.
Picture Books - Judged by Verla Kay
1st Place: The Football Game by Brenda Reeves Sturgis
2nd Place: Plane Trouble by Nancy Kelly Allen
3rd Place: Freezing, Wheezing, Sneezing Weasels by Jody Jensen Shaffer
Honorable Mentions
Ants Can't Dance by Gail Maki Wilson
Ten Turkeys in the Road by Brenda Reeves Sturgis
Middle Grade - Judged by Kathleen Duey
1st Place: You Gotta be Kidding Me by Lindsay Eland
2nd Place: All I Want For Christmas is My Old Life Back by Linda Lawmaster Hess
3rd Place: The Oak Grove Diaries by Karen Marie Graves
Honorable Mentions
In My Heart by Mindy Alyse Weiss
Give and Take by Genny Heikka
The Cattle Rustling Catastrophe by DonnaAlice Patton
Seth by Linda Whalen
Young Adult - Judged by Terry Trueman
1st Place: Wayne's Last Fit by C.S. Perryss
2nd Place: Whispers From the Desert by Sara Francis Fujimura
3rd Place: Slave Andrew by Karen Treharne
Honorable Mentions
Jake's Odds by Ena Jones
A Winning Season by Kate Palaces Narita
Poetry - Judged by Marilyn Singer
1st Place: Ice Cream Trees and Flying Peas: A Potluck of Poems by Leslie D. Perkins
2nd Place: Poems of the Road by Diana Smith
3rd Place: Goodies for Sweet Granny Mae by Susie Sawyer
Nonfiction - Judged by Kelly Milner Halls
1st Place: Red Legs Crossing by Barbara E. Walsh
2nd Place: Dance of the Trees: A Time in the Life of Richard St. Barbe Baker, Earth Healer by Maggie Davis
3rd Place: Chiura's Choice by Kate Palaces Narita
Honorable Mentions
Extreme Sports in Ancient America by Tia Leschke
Day of the Fur Traders by Peggy Wirgau
Illustration - Judged by Scott Piehl and Lauren Rille, Sterling Publishing
1st Place (tie) - Elizabeth Dulemba's "Lula's Brew"
1st Place (tie) - Michael A. Tyson's "Little Detective_Messy Monster"
2nd Place - Paige Kaiser's "Beach Day"
3rd Place - Ginger Nielson's "Fishing"
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Picture Book W.I.N.NERS
Judged by Verla Kay
1st Place: The Football Game by Brenda Reeves Sturgis
Great story! Well written, excellent rhythm and rhyme. Don’t use BOLD type in your manuscript submissions. On page 4, you say “dirt,” but there was mud in a previous stanza. Be sure to be consistent in the story line. Suggestion: use “round” instead of “quickly” on page three, fourth stanza, second line. Watch your punctuation. Several errors.
2nd Place: Plane Trouble by Nancy Kelly Allen
Great story! Great dialogue on page 2, last two paragraphs. Revise with an eye toward matching tenses. Page 1, “breaking” instead of “broke” in line 7; “being foot-stomped,” instead of “foot stomped” on page 2, line 14; “hadn’t” instead of “didn’t” and “stomped” instead of “stomp” on page 3, line 2; “wouldn’t” instead of “didn’t” on the last line. No need for “the end.”
3rd Place: Freezing, Wheezing, Sneezing Weasels by Jody Jensen Shaffer
Fun story, well written. Might need to be shorter for editors to get really excited about it. Excellent rhyme and rhythm, especially on page 1. Revise “party” to “party’s” on page 1, line 7. Watch your grammer and capitalization. Rhythm is off in several stanzas on several other pages (suggestions will be mailed).
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Ants Can't Dance by Gail Maki Wilson
Fun story. Excellent rhyming. Might need a little stronger “plot” (“problem”) in the story. I highly recommend sending a “clean” version of this without art notes. Editors like to see their own vision of a story before being told what to visualize.
Ten Turkeys in the Road by Brenda Reeves Sturgis
Fun story, cute idea. Leave art notes out of the manuscript. A few punctuation errors.
 Verla Kay is an instructor for the Institute of Children's Literature and writes historical picture books in a special kind of poetry she calls "cryptic rhyme." She has sold a total of eleven picture books, three of which are still "in the works." All eight of the books that have been published have received recognition, including Tattered Sails, which was named a "Child's Best Book of the Year" by Child Magazine. Covered Wagons, Bumpy Trails text will be in an upcoming 2nd grade social studies program in schools. Verla’s newest book, Rough, Tough Charley, received a starred review by PW. Verla Kay's website , which she designed and maintains herself, was named one of the 101 Best Websites for Writers in 2000 and again in 2005 by Writer's Digest. Her message board page has gotten an average of over 600,000 hits per month since January of 2007 - come read the very active W.I.N. thread!
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Midgrade W.I.N.NERS
Judged by Kathleen Duey
1st Place: You Gotta be Kidding Me by Lindsay Eland
Funny, great voice, character very interesting, starts with a well orchestrated bang. YAY! That’s all the most important stuff nicely in place. I would spend a few more words making sure that the young reader understands and it is the pattern of browning on the bread that forms the V.M. face. One other tip: Maybe make her very real grief-shock a little less funny and a little more real in those first few minutes after her father dies. You want the reader to love her, not just admire her wit and pluck. I get the tone, it’s well done. I mean a small adjustment in those first moments after her father’s collapse, not a voice-revision in the whole book. Whenever you have major emotion, I would consider toning the wit/pluckiness down just for the moment, then let her use it to cope—as she does so well.
2nd Place: All I Want For Christmas is My Old Life Back by Linda Lawmaster Hess
Great voice, cast introduction handled very gracefully. It is a BIG cast, which means many plot facets—and that can make things harder, but it is well handled so far in the ms. I like the big complex family—it rings very true and will make a rich plot.
3rd Place: The Oak Grove Diaries by Karen Marie Graves
*Great* concept. Lucy’s voice seems very real to me. Elizabeth’s entry feels less so. I think this has huge potential. Pacing will be everything with this, alternating the journals in a way that makes the story flow and the personalities emerge at a rate that both intrigues, then involves the reader. Full disclosure: I have a similarly structured thing in my “in progress” drawer. It is set elsewhere—but uses an alternating diaries device like this one.
Honorable Mentions
In My Heart by Mindy Alyse Weiss
Really a stunning opening scene. Huge emotional possibilities in the plot. One tip: Scenes are usually best when just shown. I noticed a few places where you summarized quickly, then showed what you had just told.
Give and Take by Genny Heikka
Solid premise, great title, likeable protagonist. This is an intriguing beginning. Tip: Re the beginning of chapter 2—narration from the protagonist is always less strong than showing a scene. It’s like dialogue, it sounds forced if the thoughts are too much author telling the reader something, filling in backstory, etc. Where to begin and end chapters often comes to me with revisions.
The Cattle Rustling Catastrophe by Donna Alice Patton
Great setting and atmosphere, likeable protagonist. One tip-just let the scenes play out. Too much digression in the first 5-10 pages loses the thread. The back story will work itself out, reveal itself as you go—pace it out as needed and organic to the scene at hand. *Everyone* struggles with this! I often revise the first chapter ten or fifteen times.
Seth by Linda Whalen
Interesting idea and unlikely “helpers’ for your protagonist. Having grown up with geese, I respect them enormously and think you have chosen well!! Tip: There are so, so, SO many quest fantasies in print and so many being published and so many being written that they really have to stand out to be noticed. Make your characters as real as you can. Spend time on your magic world and look for ways to be creative—but more than anything, tend that emotional content. It is the backbone of any story.
 Kathleen Duey is the author of dozens of books for young readers, including many titles in the Dear America series, The Unicorn's Secret series, the Hoofbeats series, and the newly release Skin Hunger, first in The Resurrection of Magic trilogy. Kathleen lives in Fallbrook, CA, but travels the world teaching workshops to children and adult writers.
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Young Adult W.I.N.NERS
Judged by Terry Trueman
1st Place: Wayne's Last Fit by CS Perryess
Dear CS, As you know, the final decision in a judging situation comes down, more than most people would like to admit, to the taste and preferences of the judge you are lucky enough, or unlucky enough to have evaluating your work. That is the biggest single factor in whether one piece is selected as winner over other pieces. Yours won because it struck close to home for me. Naturally, if the voice hadn’t been powerful and believable and the promise of the story hadn’t been present, it wouldn’t have been successful. I’d much prefer to go over this with you, in terms of a critique and will ask you to give me a call and let’s find a time to discuss it. Fair enough? Congratulations on being selected the winner in this contest. Call me for more conversation. TT
2nd Place: Whispers From the Desert by Sara Francis Fujimura
Congratulations on making my top five. This is such a powerful tale that it demands near perfection. You commit a cardinal sin at the very beginning by using expositional dialog, where you are trying to give the reader information in the lines of the characters speech by having those characters say things out loud to one another that they either wouldn’t say, or at least wouldn’t say so close to earshot of Elizabeth. This is not a huge problem to fix and any good editor would help you with it. The story itself shows much promise and I wish you the best of luck with developing it.
3rd Place: Slave Andrew by Karen Treharne
Your manuscript was one of my top five, but I didn’t select it as the winner for several reasons. First, I think you need to slow down in this story. The opening is so powerful and could easily fill 20 pages. The importance of the events, this being a historical novel, demands that the characters NOT be stereotypes and you haven’t taken the time to show any depth or range of emotions or feelings or any particulars about any of the secondary characters. This might sound harsh, but if you are going to write about something as terrible and bad as slavery, something about which many great writers have written before you, you’d better have something absolutely new and original and most of all believable in your work. This piece could have it, you could get there. But you’re not quite there yet. Keep going. This shows great promise.
Honorable Mentions
Jake's Odds by Ena Jones
Congratulations on making my top five. I didn’t select your piece as the winner, in spite of all its strengths for one reason above any others; there is too much of Jake’s thoughts and internal thinking/rational in the piece. I love the premise of the story and feel great about where it could go and what it could be. However, I think time and time again you resort to telling us what Jake thinks/feels when you could/should show us through some gestures or actions.
A Winning Season by Kate Palaces Narita
Congratulations on making my top five; now, the comments. No one has ever or will ever accuse me in my own writing of not taking advantage of or understanding white space. But I think your story lacks punch because of its over-reliance on quick hits. Look at the page. Everything is one line punch, punch, punch. Nothing is ever developed beyond the most basic message of the line. This stops the character from seeming at all rounded at the start, and we need to know something about a character, need to see and know and feel that character a bit to develop empathy.
 Terry Trueman is the Printz Honor award winning author of STUCK IN NEUTRAL, as well as five other top notch young adult novels for HarperCollins. Dozens of state library and reading associations have selected Trueman works as award winners and highly recommended reads. He makes his home in Spokane, Washington.
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Non-Fiction W.I.N.NERS
Judged by Kelly Milner Halls
1st Place: Red Legs Crossing by Barbara Elizabeth Walsh
Choosing between first and second was REALLY hard for me. Both were beautifully written. Both were well constructed. Both had real kid appeal and the research investment to make them worth publishing in any fine children’s magazine, or as a book, gently expanded. But there was something about Barbara’s topic and the way she addressed it that helped snag the winning banner: whimsy.
This is where every writer should take notice. Whether it’s an acquisitions editor or a contest judge, the final selections are purely subjective. Once skill is determined, once it’s clear the writer can write, something else rises to the surface to make the final determination. And that has to so with subjective preference.
I lean toward fun subject matter. It’s just my propensity. My editor likes that about me and my work, so she says yes to my submissions, or most of them. I liked that about Barbara’s work, so I said yes to her application to win. That sprinkle of whimsy is what did it. Had I been a more traditional reader, Maggie would have claimed the first prize, and she almost did as it stood. Her work was just as strong, just as polished as Barbara’s. But when I had to break the tie, my subjective reasoning made the call. So well done, Barbara. You wrote a really wonderful entry about a subject no kid could resist reading more about. You balanced the fun and the facts beautifully, and it paid off for you. Here’s hoping you find an editor with that same whimsical tilt that won you this prize..
2nd Place: Dance of the Trees by Maggie Davis
Maggie, I wish there could have been two first place winners, because you have exceptional, lyrical skills with the written word. Your work spirited me away to Africa in the 1920s and made me care about the struggle between generational tradition and modernization. Your story idea was unique, your presentation was compelling. You brought history to life for me. There is not a doubt in my mind this project is worthy of publication. So while I rank you second, know that it’s blue ribbon work. And please let me know when it finds an editorial home. I know it’s a matter of when, not if.
3rd Place: Chiura's Choice by Kate Palaces Narita
Hi Kate! It isn’t easy to take a kid who loves landscape art and turn him into a character we want to read about. But there was something about the urgency of your writing, the tight, thoughtful structure of your first page that turned that key. You opened the door. One suggestion. You’ve researched beautifully to understand Chiura’s personal history. But I want to know more about how he FELT about learning to paint landscapes. I want to see what spark moved his heart to defy military school and cling to his passion. So revise to reflect more of what made painting Chiura’s destiny, if you can, in addition to well written historical facts. Great job. Great topic. Just needs a little more work.
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Day of the Fur Traders by Peggy Wirgau
Hi Peggy! I picked your entry as an honorable mention because it was so well written and researched. It has great, great potential, and I’ll mail more in my critique. But the short version is this. I feel as if I’m looking at your subject from a distance. And that’s fine. But your work would be even more compelling if you would move just a little closer to it and show me how it FEELS. Bring fur trading to life for me. Show me how a trap was made, how it was set, how it felt to take the life of an animal, how it felt to know your family would survive because of that sacrifice. Give me a little more of the heart and soul of the traders along with the great factual reporting, if you can. Put me IN the moment, now that you’ve shown it to me from a distance. Good work.
Extreme Sports in Ancient America by Tia Leschke
Tia, your subject REALLY appealed to me because I’ve seen the ball field at Chichen Itza in Yucatan. I’ve seen the goals you so beautifully described, guided by an old Mayan fellow who was kind enough to show me around. So I loved what you were writing about before I even started. You didn’t let me down as I read, either. You DID put me on the field, made the work and the story immediate instead of distant. But I wanted more feedback from the experts you seemed to interview on the topic, more of an idea of how you knew what you knew to write about the ball games. What archaeological insight made it possible for you to write that story accurately? I wanted your voice AND a little more from the subjects you interviewed. If that had been there, you might have walked off with the winning prize.
 Kelly Milner Halls is a full-time freelancer specializing in quirky nonfiction for young readers. She has had more than 15 books and hundreds of articles published, teaches writing workshops and vists schools all over the country, and this summer is honored to be part of the Chautauqua faculty doing one of the things she loves most: teaching new writers how to explore and break into non-fiction. She makes her home in Spokane, WA, with two daughters, two dogs, too many cats and a 4-foot rock iguana.
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Poetry W.I.N.NERS
Judged by Marilyn Singer
1st Place: ICE-CREAM
TREES AND FLYING PEAS: A Potluck of
Poems by Leslie D. Perkins
I see a lot of potential in this poet. She (or he) has a feel for light verse. The first poem, "Liver," is very good. Though the conceit is familiar-in fact much
light verse deals with food-the rhymes are clever ("lightly peppered/German
shepherd" and "nourishing/flourishing"), and I laughed aloud when I read the
poem. It scans well and has kid appeal. I could see this in a magazine, or part of a
stronger collection.
Of the other poems, "My Mom's Spaghetti" is well-written,
though familiar. The first stanza needs
some work to make it scan better, and the second, third, and fourth lines all
end with "it." In the fourth stanza,
"around and round" should perhaps be just "round and round."
"A Light Meal" has a lot of potential, but reads awkwardly
right now. It's the rhythm/scansion of
the second/fourth lines in each stanza.
I suggest something like: "One
day aboard a rocket ship/at dinner with the crew/the captain's food tube burst
apart/surrounding us with stew." That
would promote better flow and the repetition of "chicken." The other stanzas should follow this rhythm.
To me, the weakest poems are "A Wild Party" and "You Are
What You Eat," which sound like imitations of Jack Prelutsky or Shel Silverstein. They're nicely rhythmic, but if you're going
to do this kind of nonsense verse, there still should be some grounding in
reality, i.e. I'd like to see party foods that are actually party foods
(knockwurst? gooseberries? horseradish? at a party?).
And don't folks say "ketchup," not "catsup"? Same thing with the second poem-spinach
turning you green and crab making you crabby just doesn't work for me.
But kudos for giving me some genuine chuckles. I hope
the author keeps writing and will perhaps tackle a different collection on a
subject not so frequently covered in light verse.
2nd Place: POEMS OF THE ROAD by Diana Smith
This author also shows potential. Two of these poems are good: "Deer Crossing" and "Bug Meets
Windshield." I like the freshness of the
last stanza in the former and simplicity and humor of the latter.
There's something appealing about "Wooden
Bridge" in terms of onomatopoeia,
but the poem doesn't work for me for several reasons: "Rickity" is incorrectly
spelled-it should be "Rickety"; "Cross" should come before "Quickity" and,
since the phrase is "lickity split," "Lickity SPLICKITY" doesn't cut it.
"Messy Car" mostly works in terms of rhyme and rhythm
(though I personally dislike off-rhymes such as "crumbs/gum" and "cups/up"; I prefer strict rhyme), but I don't think it's
especially interesting or unique in concept or image.
I don't get "Semi-Saurus."
Is this supposed to be a truck?
What's its morning snack? How is
it really like a dinosaur? And the last
line is awkward because of the "a."
A book of road poems is a good idea, though, and I hope the
poet will pursue this theme and produce more
poems to equal "Deer Crossing" and "Bug Meets Windshield."
3rd Place: GOODIES FOR SWEET GRANNY MAE by Susie
Sawyer
Though the story reminds me too much of Winnie the Pooh
eating up his gift of honey, I'm pleased that the author attempted an entire tale
in verse. The stanzas by and large scan
well and there's a real sweetness to the text, if not a lot of freshness. The refrain works, though not the repetition
of "sack" and "back" in this stanza:
"How lovely to see you," said sweet Granny Mae/as Millie unfastened her
sack./"Oh no!" Millie cried. "I've eaten
your treats!"/Now I'll have to go all the way back." Too many sacks and backs! I also don't understand what Granny Mae fills
Millie's sack with. Don't they eat the
cranberry bread by the fire? I'd like to
see just what goodies Granny fills that sack with since there's so much
emphasis in the poem on the names of the yummy treats.
I hope this poet continues to write tales in verse and aims
for more originality.
 Marilyn Singer has authored over 70 books for young readers, including many books of poetry, and has edited quite a few of those, as well. She's judged other competitions, like the Lee Bennett Hopkins Award, and has traveled far and wide delivering workshops and school visits on poetry and writing for children. This is the third time Marilyn has judged a SmartWriters.com category, the first being our very first W.I.N.'s Picture Book group in 2004, and the second being our 2005 W.I.N.: Shorts competition, the results of which will be published in two anthologies with Blooming Tree Press this Fall!
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Illustration
Judged by Scott Piehl, Art Director, Sterling Publishing, and Lauren Rille, Book Designer, Sterling Publishing
Looks like we have tie for FIRST place, Lauren and
I like two different pieces this year and feel both merit first place for
different reasons. Michael Tyson we like because of the character development -
she is active in her environment - has good facial expressions, and in general
is interesting. Lauren appreciated the way he handles paint, but worried that
the color pallet was too sophisticated for the children's' book market. I felt
it looked a little unfinished, but appreciated the mood and the action.
The
other FIRST place winner is Elizabeth Dulemba, we liked the overall perspective,
color pallet, and finished quality. It looks like it was done with confidence,
and from this piece feel she could illustrate a complete book consistently.
These two first place winners each have a strong personal style and we feel that
is important in this industry.
SECOND place goes to Paige Keiser, we liked the way she handles her
paint, her colors and the whimsical feel to the piece. It's concerning that she
didn't show the faces of neither the girl nor the dog. But over all it's a very
nice piece.
THIRD place goes to
Ginger Nielson, we liked the line quality, the color pallet, and the fact that
the environment has been flushed out. Our only concern is that it looks too
similar to a classic Winnie the Pooh illustration. And unless we are looking for
this style we wouldn't choose it.
Overall we thought the submissions were much stronger this year, and the
four we selected show promise.
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Grand Prize W.I.N.NER -Lula's Brew by Elizabeth Dulemba
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 1st Place (tie) - "Something's Got It_Messy Monster" by Michael A. Tyson
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 2nd Place -Beach Day by Paige Keiser
Click image to open wider version for more detail
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3rd Place -Fishing by Ginger Nielson
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